Tuesday, December 23, 2008
One of those "nights" (or early mornings!)
Suddenly I woke up! After tossing back and forth for a while, I decided to get up. Looked at my watch and it's exactly 3 am! Oh no ... one of those 3 am wake-up calls? Must've been the prime rib steak I ate during our church Xmas party! But I know better than that. I went straight to my study room and briefly prayed. Now I'm blogging about my thoughts. It's slowly hitting me. After the farewell blessings at the church service yesterday and the staff Christmas party last night, I'm now becoming more conscious of the fact that I'm really leaving the church. I watched all the familiar faces last night and I know after Jan. 15, things are no longer going to be the same. I'm going to miss a lot of people, a lot of friends. Thank God for the gifts of friendship, for the gift of community! I am a grateful person indeed! Even as I acknowledged the wave of sadness I felt, I remember Henri Nouwen's insights about turning my loneliness into solitude. I also thought about his idea of moving from solitude to community. It dawned on me: God will soon usher me into a new community and there's reason to be expectant. I am starting to look back now (already) but I'm also beginning to look forward to something new and beautiful!